005 ♑ [fifth honk]

[hystericull]

A BrOtHeR AiN'T TrYiN To gEt hIs hArSh aLl oN OvEr nOtHiNg sMaLl oR NoThIn
ExCePt tHiS MoThErFuCkIn nOiSe iS Up aNd gOiN FrOm sMaLl sPuDs tO FuCkInG SHIT.
IN LESS MOTHERFUCKING TIME THAN IT TAKES THE FUCKIN OPTIMISTIFFS IN THIS JOINT.
to all let fly from their.
MOTHERFUCKING TRAPS.
about how all it's gonna be gettin.
SO MUCH MOTHERFUCKING.
bEtTeR
BuT It dOn't gEt bEtTeR, mY BrOtHeRs aNd bItChEs
It aIn't nEvEr gOnNa gEt nO BeTtEr
No mAtTeR HoW MuCh sPaRkLy fLuFfY NoIsE AnY OnE MoThErFuCkEr's gOnNa wAnNa pUkE AlL OvEr tHe
MOTHERFUCKING.
truth.

ThEy tAkE A BrOtHeR AnD CuT HiM ThE FuCk oPeN
ShOvE ShIt iN HiM WhAt's nOt nEvEr sUpPoSeD To aLl bEiNg iNsIdE
CrEeP AnD CrAwL AlL Up iN HiS FrIeD OuT PaN LiKe iT AiN'T BeEn bLoWn tO BiTs aLrEaDy
MaKe hIm gEt aLl uP In tHe hArShEsT BuSiNeSs wItH HiS ReSpItEbLoCkBrOs
SpEnD HiS SlEePtImE In tHe hAlLs wHeRe hE CaN'T GeT No mOtHeRfUcKiNg sHuTeYe
RiP ThEm gOoD BrOs hE Be aLl sPlItTiN ThIs mOtHeRfUcKiN ShItHoLe wItH FrOm hIm
MaKe tHeM GoNe fOrEvEr
without saying MOTHERFUCKING GOOD bye.
GiVe iN HiM SoMe WICKED MOTHERFUCKING URGES.
that he all ain't never been to feeling before.
MAKE HIM QUESTION his.
mother.
FUCKING SELF.

WhO ArE YoU, mOtHeRfUcKeR?

HaHa
HAHA.
haha.
HONK.
honk.
HONK.
honk.

WHO THE MOTHER FUCK AM I?

Comments

[hystericull]

[The touch smooths out the fraying edges of his anger, but Karkat's words just tear them back apart.]

I don't give two grubfucking tits what motherfucker was to be starting it!

I WILL BE THE ONE TO MOTHERFUCKING FINISH IT. I WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKER TO FUCKING CULL HIS ASS.

And if you ain't telling in me who the fuck it is.

THEN I WILL ALL BE UP AND GETTING MY SEARCH ON OUT OF EVERY WHOOPED-ASS BROTHER IN THIS FUCKING TOWER TO BREAK HIS MOTHER FUCKING NUGBONE OFF HIS GOD DAMN SHOULDERS.

[papshooshing]

[ no talking now. all of the petting. papping. shooshing. this is Karkat's focus. Gamzee is clearly worked up, something Karkat had known that would happen. he just needs to be able to reach that rage and snip it in the bud. while Karkat feels upset that Gamzee is upset, he can't tell his moirail who had been behind it. he just can't betray another mutant like that... ]

[hystericull]

Don't--!!

[The sentence ends in a frustrated growl, gradually losing it's ferocity and volume over time. If Karkat wouldn't tell him who'd fucked his shit up, he'd find out himself. Somehow. For now, though, there was no point in trying to wring water out of a dry sponge.]

I'm cool. I'm chill.

[He breathed. Just. Breathed. An eyebrow soon arched in disapproval, however.]

The fuck you goin' around startin' shit for, anyhow, motherfucker?

[Karkat liked to scream and bark and flail around, but it didn't end in physicality all the time. Nothing serious, anyway, and Gamzee doubted he'd be the first to throw a punch, like he'd claimed, unless he was severely provoked.]

[papshooshing]

[ Karkat snorts, pulling his hands away. he actually looks a little ashamed at the question. because no, as much as he yells and screams? he doesn't normally throw punches. ]

The nookwipe was overly arrogant and talking shit. That smug grin of his made me want to pop him one in the teeth.

I lost my temper.

[hystericull]

[Gamzee shoots Karkat a snort right back, folding his arms over his chest and giving his eyes a nice, big roll. Hey, look! Wasn't it amazing? He could actually be functional around his moirail without being a sloppy, sniveling mess at all times.]

That ain't all fuckin' narrowing no one down for me, motherfucker. This log of shit we in be all practically what's made up of smug bitches.

[That last part. Ugh, how was he even supposed to deal with that without looking like the biggest, douchiest hypocrite ever?]

Leave that ugly noise all at me, best friend. Violence's a color what ain't to look much fuckin' good on you.

["I will fight every battle for you." Really wasn't the best advice. Gamzee, really, stop putting yourself in a position to advise the poor kid.]

[papshooshing]

[ hey now. Karkat's actually giving a soft little smile. at all of it. the smug bitches... how Gamzee rolls his eyes. for all that Gamzee can be rageful and violent. for everything that Gamzee had been, the dorky clown cultist... there is charm in this Gamzee too. how he can be just like everyone else. Karkat likes Gamzee no matter what face he decides to wear, literal or metaphorical.

he reaches up and ruffles that big pink mop of hair that's completely disgusting and makes his eyes burn. ]

I'll think about it. Can't have you tarnish my sparkling reputation, you know. [ tease. what reputation? ] You're my moirail, you know, not some attack woofbeast.

But I appreciate the willingness to defend and protect me. I'd do the same, really.

[hystericull]

[Oh... okay he doesn't know what he did to warrant a smile but he will take it!!! He will also take hair ruffles, even though it looked funny when Karkat stood on his tip-toes and reached up to do it. Gamzee briefly contemplated kneeling down so it would be easier for him. And then he realized how stupid that would be. And then he realized that, yeah, he would totally kneel in front of this kid just to get him to put his hand on his head and smile at him some more.]

[That was the sappiest thing he'd ever thought and he was sure he was going to puke all over the floor for it.]

Yeah, but.

[Scrunching his face.]

Ain't no limits on that motherfucking job description, brother. "Pale" means "Gamzee will be what the fuck ever he is all being fuckin' needed to be."

[Was this sappy he couldn't tell he was just telling him the truth!]

Motherfuckin' attack woofbeast or otherwise. You all be needing something and that is all what I'll be motherfucking being.

[papshooshing]

Gamzee, that's fucking adorable. You're motherfucking adorable. I don't think my little blood pusher can handle how much you're dishing out here.

I fucking love it.

[ because he does. because Karkat needs Gamzee. that's really all there is too it. ]

[hystericull]

[Holy fuck he's not adorable knock it off Karkat oh my God if his face could get any more purple it would be a fucking miracle. This was not familiar territory this was so nothing he was versed in at all he was pretty sure it'd be easier to just go jump off the side of the fucking Tower or something, for God's sake.]

[And Karkat said he loved it this was too much please leave him to die.]

I, uh--

Sorry.

[???????????]

[WHAT ARE EMOTIONS.]

[papshooshing]

No, no. Don't be sorry. Never be sorry.

[ more hugs. all of the hugs. ]

But I do have one complaint. A real one.

[hystericull]

[Grghhhfgh now that he wasn't a completely inconsolable mess, he could fully appreciate just how much Karkat was getting up in his grill. THIS WOULD BE so much fucking easier if he were high. So. Much. Fucking. Easier. Where did he put his arms did he hug back or was he just supposed to... stand there and accept it or.]

[Affection is something, he was realizing very belatedly, that required a great deal of slime to understand.]

[For now, he would just try to focus on what was, apparently, something serious that was weighing on Karkat's mind.]

Mmmm.

[So encouraging, Gamzee.]

[papshooshing]

You ready for this.

[ Karkat pulls back, hands on his hips. brows furrowed in a slight scowl. ]

What the fuck did you do to your hair?

[hystericull]

[QUITE HONESTLY HE DOES NOT KNOW IF HE'S READY FOR IT AT ALL but he'll brace himself for the worst anyw--]

What!?

[THIS. FACE.]

[papshooshing]

You heard me. What. The Motherfuck. Did you do to your hair?

[hystericull]

What the fuck does it all look like I be doin' to it!?

[He could never be mad at you, Karkat, but he can be snippy because why do you have to insult the hair.]

[papshooshing]

It looks like you're trying to imitate Ampora is what you be doing to it.

[ scarf and all. how can you miss this, Gamzee? ]

[hystericull]

[SCREEEEEEEEEECH HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!! HE DOES NOT HAVE A PRETENTIOUS LOG JAMMED UP HIS NOOK ABOUT HIS FUCKING APPEARANCE LIKE THOSE ASSHOLES DO, OKAY!?]

Bound to all be making that fuckin' observation, since he's the one who all was up and givin' it to me.

[He's still pissed you compared him to those royal douches. Even the one that wasn't royal still acted like a damn princess.]

Let a brother know if he starts getting his motherfucking flush on at your ass, then. Maybe I can get all bent out of mother fucking shape on it when you call it quits, and turn into an even bigger bulgesucker than all what's I am now.

[papshooshing]

Maybe I just happen to like you the way that you are, huh?

[ Karkat listens to Gamzee and fails to suppress the grin. ]

Shouldn't that flush be aimed at Feferi instead of me?

[hystericull]

...Oh.

[KARKAT PLEASE STOP............... Gamzee is now a quiet tall thing just standing there uselessly, because Karkat likes him the way he is and that is. Kind of really nice.]

[He didn't have shitty self-esteem or anything like that. In fact, he was pretty okay with himself most of the time when he wasn't murdering his friends but then again at those times he was also okay with himself. It's just, it was always "you're so weird" or "why are you doing this" or "stop that" or "I can't believe you did such-and-such," never... never, "maybe I just happen to like you the way that you are."]

[What were they talking about, again?]

[Wow, he hadn't spaced out in a long time. He didn't think it was actually possible to anymore.]

Uh--

[papshooshing]

Gamzee?

[ Karkat is all about the concern now. he leans a bit, waving his hand in front of the other troll's face. just what is with all that spacing out anyway? what Karkat's saying can't be that bad, can it? ]

You okay?

[hystericull]

Yuuh.

[He shook his head, flinging his hideous pink hair back and forth as a result, sending it all into his face. W o w was he deteriorating into an imbecile the more he tried to ignore Karkat's affections. Maybe Karkat made him regress. Or something. Who knew? If that was the case he'd... he wouldn't know how to feel about it.]

Yeah. Uh. Yeah, heh.

What were we talkin' on, again?

[papshooshing]

We were talking about getting you cleaned up.

[ a total lie and it should be obvious from the way Karkat's lips quirk into a smirk. hee hee rhyming Karkat snatches up Gamzee's hand and starts to tug to the nearest ablution chamber. ]

[hystericull]

What--

[Oh hell no OH HELL NO THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY WERE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. ABORT. ABORT. Both heels are now firmly planted to the ground!!!]

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MIND!

[papshooshing]

[ just... you're just getting this look, Gamzee. Karkat is hella confused. ]

What?

[hystericull]

[Karkat, stop. You know how he is about Baths. ...Don't you?]

[DON'T YOU!?]

Forget it.