1st Time in Text

[knightime]

man
what the ever loving fuck was that???
alright
thanks so much shitty tower
i wanted to see earth as a desolate shithole
forget the fact that it shouldnt have even existed
and i was bored out of my skull
ugh
whatever
im back
got a little lost and went by the ruins of earth
etc
worst roadtrip
the radio kept playing bruno mars on repeat
the ac was busted
i have sand in places i didnt think it could get to
the scenery kind of sucked
considering there was none
what i miss???

Comments

[knightime]

conga lines are so out of style
you guys couldnt even do some shuffling???
man you guys are worst off than i thought you guys were
who even does conga nowadays

[restitchtime]

People who want to purposefully piss off the dead guy by not only destroying his things but doing it in an outdated way. Looks like the mission was successful, I'll have to tell everyone else.

[knightime]

you better be as dramatic as possible
i wont consider it a job well done unless you make a scene about it
gotta make sure everyone knows
i wasnt dead though
but you should have seen it
it was a one way stop to earth and how fucked up it was
even if they fail to explain how it exists in the first place
it was like a really bad attempt at trying to convince me that they actually saved me
i give them a three for at least trying

[restitchtime]

I'm printing an obnoxious banner to hang in the cafeteria as we speak, don't worry.

Sounds like an improvement on the song and dance they gave us all when we showed up at least. Guess I should offer some congratulations on not getting killed over in the post-apocalyptic wasteland too, since that's probably the polite thing to do and all.

[knightime]

damn right you better be
at least they were willing to go make us a post apocalyptic earth
so i guess they werent completely lying
kudos to them
they care enough to make useless shit for us
im charmed
completely sold on this
brb making friendly with the tower
there wasnt really anything out there to kill me
unless we include really terrible radio music
ugh im going to get my cozy on with the media room for the next fucking ever

[restitchtime]

Just make sure you keep the fucking door closed when you go up there. I don't need to hear your orgasmic groans in time to that shitty music whenever I walk by.

[knightime]

wow
assuming i make noises that loud
i like the music to do all the noise
thank you very much
if you can hear me
than youre way too close
probably up being a creepy ass voyeur even
i thought that was the towers job

[restitchtime]

Please, you look like a screamer if I ever saw one. And just because the tower likes to press its face up against whatever fucking surveillance it's got around here every time someone steps into the shower doesn't mean someone else can't do the same with a little more class.

I mean, really. We've got to have standards around here.

[knightime]

except i lived with the biggest stalker ever
its hard to be loud when you fear hell be in your room the moment you even say anything remotely sexual
shit
well
thats some nightmare fuel if i ever had some
i forget this tower is just one really creepy sexual predator

[restitchtime]

That asshole didn't need an excuse to start breathing down your neck and you know it. There's no difference between throwing a glitter covered orgy and taking a nap in his eyes.

How could you forget shit like that? It's practically written on the walls with how obvious it is.

[knightime]

he wasnt usually around tbqh
elusive fucking bastard most of the time
not that i really minded

[Dave never really resented Bro. Especially not with him being dead. He's wondering what's the big deal.]

i like to try being blissfully ignorant to what this place does
because i seriously rather not deal with its shit

[restitchtime]

Thank god for that. I don't think I'd have been able to deal with him around 24/7.

It's going to happen whether you think about it or not. Might as well try and get the jump on it and maybe fix some shit.

[knightime]

drowning in plush rumps
the most ironic of deaths
no it isnt
its just sad
ugh that apartment was full of stupid

i guess
but fixing something here is easier said than done
still not even sure what we can fix here yet thats for fucking sure
because they dont really give us a yay or nay to being dragged into its fun little games
id like to fix that first
rude as fuck tbh

[restitchtime]

Honestly I was starting to think that it was built out of stupidity and just had layers and layers of bullshit slathered on top. Christ.

Yeah, manners are definitely at the top of the to-do list. Once we get that sorted out everything else should be a fuckton easier.

[knightime]

im not the master of manners
but shit
if im calling you out on bad manners
you better shape up
maybe if this place got some
things might actually change for the better
hahaha yeah right

[restitchtime]

More like we'll probably just get gold embossed invitations to the next slasher movie reenactment. Hey, but it's the thought that counts.

[knightime]

at least they tried
five star treatment
i mean i guess this would be five star treatment for a shitty murderous tower
i cant really tell you since this is my first time
usually dont go checking into places like this
its bad for my health
especially my complexion

[restitchtime]

And god knows that we can't have you breaking out in more serious acne than you've got now. What's left of the world would probably spin off its axis.

[knightime]

the world would shrivel up and die
how dare they destroy such a beautiful and perfect strider complexion
all is lost
nothing can be salvaged

[restitchtime]

It's basically the last omen before the collapse of existence as we know it. Definitely needs to be avoided at all costs.

[knightime]

lucky for everyone
crisis has been adverted
this perfect skin is no longer marred
ive got this shit handled

[restitchtime]

Thank every deity listening in on this near cataclysm. Your magician-like construction of makeshift facial products will save us all from certain doom.

[knightime]

sbahj brand acne face wash
proven to get rid of anything that doesnt belong on your face

[restitchtime]

And to add a healthy smattering of jpg artifacts, I'd imagine.

[knightime]

its a side effect that may occur
sucks to be you if you get it
also may cause sudden drop in the ability to spell words correctly
that also would suck but hey
gotta pay to look gorgeous sometimes
thankfully im pretty sure striders are immune to any such side effects