1st Time in Text

[knightime]

man
what the ever loving fuck was that???
alright
thanks so much shitty tower
i wanted to see earth as a desolate shithole
forget the fact that it shouldnt have even existed
and i was bored out of my skull
ugh
whatever
im back
got a little lost and went by the ruins of earth
etc
worst roadtrip
the radio kept playing bruno mars on repeat
the ac was busted
i have sand in places i didnt think it could get to
the scenery kind of sucked
considering there was none
what i miss???

Comments

[windykind]

dave!
you're ok!
i was getting a little worried there, to be honest.
but, uh... not much!
just a party, really.

oh, that reminds me. i need to talk to you in person somewhere!

[knightime]

im a cockroach
its impossible to get rid of me
oh
unless you mean i totally ditched this sad excuse for a popsicle stand
but naw
im back because i love you
my love for you brought me back here
i can swing by your room
im in mine atm but hey
exercise does a body good
and the whole i love you thing
in which i am willing to forgo my comfortable spot on this bed
to get my ass to wherever you are
jegus im such a good best bro
how can you even handle it

[windykind]

oh, dave!
gasp! hair flip! swoon!
i always knew you were the one for me!
no other bro could ever replace you!
(insert long, passionate brofist here.)
(end of film.)

in all seriousness, i'm on the lower library floor.

[knightime]

damn
this film will just get all the awards
so many thumbs up wed break the scale
instant classic
bam
alright im heading down then
see you in like however long it takes me to find the library

[Who even goes to the library. Gross man.]

[windykind]

think of the money we could make, dave.
this is our big break.
see ya!

[As he waits in the computer chair, John can't help but think that he can actually call on Dave now; they can meet in person and just... talk. If there's one good thing this Tower has brought, it's probably that. ...So when Dave finds him, he'll find him staring into space and grinning like an idiot.]

[restitchtime]

You passed the 'give a fuck' threshold a day or so ago so we all started a conga line through your room and trashed all your shit. I'd say I was sorry, but I don't lie and it was too great a party to apologize over.

[knightime]

conga lines are so out of style
you guys couldnt even do some shuffling???
man you guys are worst off than i thought you guys were
who even does conga nowadays

[restitchtime]

People who want to purposefully piss off the dead guy by not only destroying his things but doing it in an outdated way. Looks like the mission was successful, I'll have to tell everyone else.

[knightime]

you better be as dramatic as possible
i wont consider it a job well done unless you make a scene about it
gotta make sure everyone knows
i wasnt dead though
but you should have seen it
it was a one way stop to earth and how fucked up it was
even if they fail to explain how it exists in the first place
it was like a really bad attempt at trying to convince me that they actually saved me
i give them a three for at least trying

[restitchtime]

I'm printing an obnoxious banner to hang in the cafeteria as we speak, don't worry.

Sounds like an improvement on the song and dance they gave us all when we showed up at least. Guess I should offer some congratulations on not getting killed over in the post-apocalyptic wasteland too, since that's probably the polite thing to do and all.

[lightfromdark]

Just the usual, I suppose.

[knightime]

woah
woah
wait
holy shit what
this better not be a joke stuck up lalonde me

[lightfromdark]

I never was any good at joke's so I'm going to have to dissuade you from that theory.

[knightime]

first of all???
bullshit
you joke a lot more than you pretend
its just veiled with all your longwinded psychoanalyzing bullcrap
second of all
when did you get here???
also youre late
everyone was waiting on bated breath
but you took the extremely fashionably late route

[lightfromdark]

Curses, foiled again. You're just too quick to figure me out.
I've been here only for a few days.
I just haven't bothered to announce my grand arrival to this unstable network.

[notagiraffe]

You're back Dave. I was scared you had gone.

[knightime]

oh hey
soz man
i wasnt expecting to get sent back to some fake ass desolate earth for like
however long i was gone
i lost track of time
i can make up for that shit now
im here and my body is ready for everything

[notagiraffe]

Was it fake? How do you know? Sorry... I am sure it was but...

[knightime]

because where i come from
earth kind of got really intimate with some meteors
like way too intimate
couldnt handle that shit
bleep
cue in dramatic explosion

[notagiraffe]

So your world really did end?

[tortileghostwriter]

a glum fate to be resigned to indeed
endless bruno mars stretching into infinity i shudder to consider it
ah but you had a question
thats right
the long and short of it is
well
to speak like a strider
shenanigans

[knightime]

i now know all the lyrics to every song he sang
my fate has been sealed
i am fucked
tell everyone i loved them all
ive been ruined
tainted
bruno mars has ruined me
shenanigans
thanks
that was real helpful
so i assume nothing worth noting
i heard there was a party though

[tortileghostwriter]

no
no there is still hope yet
there must be i am certain of it
hold fast to that
hie yourself to the music room and there begin detoxing immediately
a full bt and justice regimen is in order
supplement with the glitch mob as needed

anyway youre of course very welcome
i am as always glad simply to be of service

evidently so yes

[knightime]

brb
living in the media room for the next month
its the only way i can get rid of this poison
need some sick beats stat
need actual ill rhymes
that you know
doesnt have to do with being heartbroken enough to get high
seriously
worst love song
god
why do people even like this guy
of course
youre me
we are helpful beings

[tortileghostwriter]

best of luck dear twin
i wish you a speedy recovery from the bruno mars pestilence that plagues you
only the sickest of beats will do of course
though i could easily go either way on the rhymes
regardless a change of subject matter is obviously necessary

the same reason that people enjoy such dreck as eragon and twilight i imagine
their tastes just arent up to par at all
the most helpful
let that never be held in doubt