[It takes a moment for Sam Erstwhile to speak- when he finally does, his voice is quiet and strained, as if he's doing his best not to break down and cry right then and there.]I....I'm sorry. For what happened back then, with the brainwashing and all. I mean, god, I remember hurting people, and...
killing them...
[He grows quiet for a while, before suddenly speaking back up again.]And I know it wasn't me. I was changed into a...
monster. They experimented on me and changed me and now I'm back to myself again. But I still remember it all- the memories just won't go away, you know?
[And a shuddering sigh.]The whole point of this is, well...first I wanted to apologize.For what I did, even if I wasn't myself... And second of all, I wanted to ask something. When they change us back to our normal selves...they don't leave anything behind, right? Because after doing that, it still feels like I did it with my own hands. Like what I was then and what I am now are still the same, like part of
that thing is still inside me and I can never get it out...
[It's been inside him for a long, long,
long time, but like he'll ever say that.]
I mean, it's the first time I've gone through this thing, this experimentation, and I've heard other people have went through it multiple times in this Tower...so I want to know. How do you deal with something like that when you return to normal? If you really
do return to "normal".
How do you convince yourself that you're still a good person after all of that?
[If you're in the library later on, you'll find him curled up in a corner with his fairy tale books, murmuring quietly to himself:]I wonder if they saw...? No. It's alright. Yes, yes, I know, I'll get over that...it can't have happened, right?
[And then he just shakes his head and continues reading, frown on his face.]