Worried as she is, Rise is still an idol at heart, and she smiles for the camera like a movie star.]
Hi hi! Rise Kujikawa here, bringing you all an important message!
I know things are kinda crazy today, and lots of people are saying really weird stuff, buuuut this is a little different, because this one's not that unbelievable.
So everyone, be really careful if you're eating the cafeteria food! There might be poisonous plants in it...and honestly, in a place like this, I'd say you're better off safe than sorry.
[Filtered to the Investigation Team + Nanako, Hidetoshi, Luke, Tohko, and (after a moment's debate) Asch, Ken, and Frederick + EDITED (at Luke's request) TO INCLUDE TEAR]
Even if it's not true, I don't think we should risk it, guys... So...who wants to go hunting and who wants to help me see what we can find to make in the kitchen? We should meet up for meals somewhere at least twice a day, and maybe we could invite more people, too.
[EDIT: brief additional video, filtered to the same crew as above]
Senpai says to meet up in the cafeteria, and we'll decide where to go from there!

[He frowned as he repeats the words from this month's menu. Why the damn flower theme? Do people actually eat this? Thorin dispised the menu. Flowers were too elvish for his liking.]
Is anyone actually eating this? Nay, I would rather kill a deer on Floor Thirty Two than ruin my palette with this....food. Flowers are for gardens, not for eating. Whoever thought of this idea is obviously [an elf.] strange. What if you do not like flowers? Do we still have to eat this? Surely, a meat stew could not go amiss one time?
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
[Anyone who knows Saki knows poetry isn't her usual style, but she's not been herself lately, to say the least.]
Is April always so cruel here? Or was this month just particularly bad?
...Kazumi, Kyoko, Mami - are you three okay?
[He's been staring and prodding at the terminal for the longest time, wanting to at least have a basic grasp of its function before fiddling too much with it, though as of right this moment, Barbossa will fully admit (privately) that he really doesn't understand it. Witchery, devilry, some sort of voodoo...He's not entirely sure, and really, given the circumstances, he doesn't really care. What matters is that he's pretty sure it's for communication. And communicate he will.
There are far more important things afoot, thanks to the letter he's tucked haphazardly into the sash around his waist, because in it, the worst is delivered. He cares not for the world, but his ship...That's enough to make his blood boil.
But none of that shows on his face - for now. He's already raged privately, before deciding it is, plainly and simply, false. Instead, he looks more than a little amused at the circumstances, as he taps thoughtfully at the screen with one long, black nail.]
So, it do seem me home managed to get itself blown apart like a dinghy hit with chain shot. Funny, that. [He doesn't believe a word of it, and it's evident in his tone, and the quirk of his mouth.] Ye'd figure there'd be a tad more warning. Trumpets. Horsemen. Jack Sparrow running away from the scene of the crime. Alas, can't say as I remember a speck of any of that.
So what be the truth of it, aye? Did our saviors rapture us from our dying homes, convinced of our purity and contriteness? Be we the lambs before the slaughter? [Hilarious.] Nay, there be more to it than that. And since it seems ye have me at a disadvantage, I'd be thankful for some...Insight.
[ As is usual for Data, his message is simultaneously sent in both video and text formats. ]
There has been a weeding recently and in one week is an event known as "Saint Valentine's Day", a holiday associated with romantic love. It is an occasion in which lovers express their love for each other in a special manner, most often depending on their culture and past.
But what is love? How would you define that feeling? I have been told about love before, but it is a most... complicated emotion and no explanation I have heard truly conveyed an understanding of the feeling.
For those involved with the Holy Grail War, you likely know he was trying to gather us together to create a peace treaty for the time being. The Grail probably doesn't exist here, and unless we can confirm it does, and we are all still eligible to win it, we should have no reason to fight. That was his thinking. As his Master and faithful subject, I still have a duty to follow through with his wishes. He may have been the one to suggest it, but it's as much his Master's responsibility as his own. I've seen Saber's message regarding this and it will be taken into consideration, but I don't consider it called off as of yet.
[Waver might also be found on floor 48, beside Rider's grave, trying to use magecraft to give the king a more suiting gravestone. Something big and flashy, to match the name engraved on it. He's trying to go for a lifesize ox-cart, in accordance with the story of Alexander cutting the impossible Gordian knot teathering them, which was said to have pleased Zeus and secured his position as conqueror of Asia.]
It's almost time.
[ How long was it for him? Years? Centuries? A millennium? It doesn't matter. To someone who is possibly billions of years old and existed in previous cycles of his own universe, it might as well have been a week. Being that old, and being a cosmic entity, gives him a very odd perception of time compared to humans. He's completely indifferent to this event, even though it did affect on him. ]
I know you can see what I refer to, Yeshua. And I know that you can feel it as well.
[ That affect, of course... was him sensing Animus beginning to awaken. Though whether it actually was, or if it was just a sensation he's feeling due to the event itself, remains to be seen. ]
I was unaware that is possible in this world, but it was a hypothesis I was willing to test. Perhaps now, Tohko, Shion, Allen, and 'Wretched Egg,' your question can be answered.
[ He pauses slightly when he says 'Wretched Egg.' He's still unsure why she insists on being called that, but c'est la vie. ]
[ Guess who was forced to learn how to fight since being here for... well... what now feels like forever? One of the tactics he learned was applying poison to his darts, so he lets the tips soak in a jaw of venom from various monsters overnight, before attaching them to his darts whenever he leaves his room. However, he still avoids fighting whenever possible, and compared to many other people here... he's still a little on the scrawny side, and he's still a normal human. So he's taken to trading things that help him survive in exchange for him reading about them in his Diary, and telling them what they should or shouldn't watch out for.
He sticks around for an hour in the library after sending out the various messages. Afterwards, you might catch him on any of the first three floors. ]
( Private to Yuno )
( Private to Akise & Tsubaki )
( Private to Tohko )
[ OOC: Permissions post relating to his Future Diary, in case you want to take him up on his offer. ]
Good morning! Would the following people please come to the third floor: Rei, Romeo, Saber, Wilhelm, Tetra, France, Prussia, Lancer, 'Azazello'-aka The Brown Testament, and 'Behemoth'-aka The other Testament.
It may be a little late, but I still want to hand you guys Christmas presents, so please do show up!
[Filtered to Rei Ayanami and Rise Kujikawa]
Oh..and would Rei and Rise please meet me here as well, together? There's something I want to ask the both of you.
[However, right now, there was something he really wanted to ask the tower at large. That is, something besides whether or not he could still communicate with his fellow Servants. That morning, he had found a stack of papers in his room. Papers that told him he was now a janitor. He's not quite sure what it means.]
[So now he's standing at a console, papers in hand. He also has a pen which he snatched from one of his roommates, just in case he ran into someone who didn't speak the same languages that he did. He speaks in English first, as slowly and clearly as he can.]
Hey, my name is Lancer. How many of you can still understand me? How many of my kind can still understand me? If you understand what I am saying, contact me back, maybe with video. I have a question I want to ask.
[He repeats the words in Japanese, and then Gaelic on the off-chance that someone can speak that.]
I assume most people here read this. This is important. Ryuunosuke Uryuu is from my world, and he's said he doesn't see a point in doing the same here, but nonetheless, I think everyone should be aware of any potential danger. If I said nothing and something happened...I would be partially to blame.
He was a serial killer - children, mostly.
[Even still the memory is terrible, and his hands shake as he types.]
I found where he kept the bodies. He calls it 'art'. I can't imagine anything worse than that scene. They didn't even look human anymore.
Just be careful. He seemed nice enough. That's the worst part.
Edit -
It was noted I should describe him rather than only give a name. He's tall, maybe 5'8", orange-brown hair, he has piercings in his ears, and his personality seemed to be helpful and amicable to me.
I don't know who these people are but talk about rude. They enjoy picking on little kids more than what adults do at night.
I need to borrow a nice adult that can move a box for me.
[[ooc: failed!hiatus, expect back tags.]]
COSTUMES ARE STUPID.
CANDY IS LESS STUPID.
YOU ALL ARE FUCKING STUPID.
NEXT TIME I'M LOOKING FOR AN APOCALYPSE, I'LL REMEMBER TO DIAL THE LINE TO TOWER WONDERFUCK.
HOME OF LITERALLY EVERYTHING TERRIBLE IN THE MULTIVERSE.
ALRIGHT NOW THAT WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY, TIME TO GET BACK TO BUSINESS.
YOU MIGHT ALL REMEMBER BACK A WHILE AGO WHEN I MENTIONED DIFFERENT SHIT HAPPENING AFTER MY LAST DEATH.
WELL IF YOU DON'T, SURPRISE!!!!!!!!
I HAD SOME WEIRD SIDE EFFECTS AFTER I "DIED".
I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW IF WE CAN CALL IT DEATH ANYMORE AND I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT EITHER.
THIS ISN'T A PHILOSOPHICAL DISCUSSION.
I MADE A DUMB PROMISE A WHILE BACK THAT I INTEND ON KEEPING SO.
HERE'S SOME MORE NEWS.
I KNOW YOU'RE ALL ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC TO TO HEAR THAT I HAVE DIED ONCE AGAIN.
LAST TIME IT WAS A FUCKING COLD ASS TABLE.
THIS TIME I WOKE UP NOT BEING ABLE TO FEEL MY ARM.
THE RIGHT ONE, IF IT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE?
SOMEONE WAS FUCKING WITH IT BEFORE THAT, I DON'T KNOW WHO.
I DIDN'T SEE.
DIDN'T HURT.
IT WAS LIKE SOME FUCKING OUTER BODY EXPERIENCE AND I H8TED IT.
MOVING ON AGAIN.
DON'T FUCKING PESTER ME ABOUT THIS OR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR PROTEIN ORBS AND FEED THEM TO CAPTAIN CINNAMON CLAWS.
DON'T THINK I WON'T.
DESPITE BEING HEADHUNTED ALL LAST MONTH LIKE GOD DAMN PYGMY LARVAE IN FIDUSPAWN, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE AT KEEPING YOUR QUADRANTS IN ORDER.
LIKE LITERALLY TERRIBLE.
PROBABLY SOME OF THE WORST CASES I'VE EVER SEEN.
AND YES, I'VE ALREADY BEEN MADE WELL AWARE OF SOME YOUR HUMAN CONDITION OF ONLY BEING CAPABLE OF ONE TYPE OF ROMANCE.
WHAT THE FUCK EVER WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT EITHER.
WHAT WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IS ME AND YOU.
AND HOW I CAN HELP YOU.
I CAN HELP ALL OF YOU FOR A ONCE IN THE LIFETIME FEE.
OR MAYBE IF I'M FEELING GENEROUS, I WON'T EVEN CHARGE.
YOU WON'T KNOW UNTIL YOU GIVE ME A TRY.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME.
NAME'S KARKAT VANTAS, ROMANCUL8TOR EXTRAORDINAIRE.
BEEN DOING THIS FOR SWEEPS, YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS.
AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU PROBABLY DO.
SO LET ME HOOK YOU UP.
Nesir: I do admit that I was in the wrong when I killed you. It was this darn costume. It's been messing with me, and for those first couple of days, I didn't realize that it was the costume controlling me. I am sorry. However, I am also willing to bargain. I have eighteen pieces of candy on me right now. I am willing to exchange these with you for the belongings you stole from me especially Similar to The Sky. That book is precious to me and I want it back.
Kidou: I'm terribly, terribly sorry for what I said and did to you. You were under your costume's influence too, and I said and did some horribly cruel things to you. I hope you can forgive me. If there's anything I can help you with, please, let me know.
Ganondorf/Ganondork: I do apologize for trying to kill you, but know that I am someone! I am Tohko Amano, the book girl, and no matter how much power you have, your love and knowledge of books shall never exceed mine!
Romeo: I apologize for ripping out your heart. That was the costume again, and I am truly sorry. However, I think you owe me an apology too, as you also attacked me for no reason at all.
Also, since this month has been rather rough, I will be whipping up some cakes and other sweets for people to eat on the 31st! Anyone is allowed to come, eat, and cheer up. However, there are some rules. No killing each other and no making a mess. Also, no alcohol, if you were planning on bringing that in somehow.
These transactions will remain confidential, and I will not inform anyone that I have divulged such a location to you. As for how I know these locations, I will not share. I am, however, a man of my word. It is, after all, a hallmark of any respectable business integrity.
- Wilhelm
[ A proverbial deal with the devil, as a certain Testament and mutant might realize. Dare you take this offer? ]
Don't worry! Rei and I, Tohko Amano, have set up relationship advice mailboxes on floor three, sixteen, two, one, nineteen, and the dorm floors! Toss us a letter, and we'll help solve your problem!
If anyone wishes to help us with the mailboxes, please contact both Rei and me.
Find love today! Drop us a letter!
So, to the new kids out there, now you know how to make your oatmeal delicious!~