Hey... Well, after a rather traumatic month of freakish experimentation and getting locked out of my room - forcing me to live the hobo lifestyle no less; thanks guys - things seem to have returned to normal and yours truly is as ready as ever to boldly venture forward. 

[Here he pauses, looking a little sheepish. Scratching at the back of his neck he continues, holding out both hands about a foot and a half apart. Yes, this is important. Yes, he is going to reach out to the Tower yet again]

I lost my dog. Er. He's stuffed so you'd think he wouldn't go far but Rowdy Jr. is special! Has spunk.  [matter of factly] He answers by Rowdy. Junior. Jay Jay. Love of my life. Don't think the love between a man and his dog is weird. I can see you judging me and I don't appreciate it!

Has anyone seen him though? His return is much appreciated. [oh, there's a picture he's flashing now of a miniature poodle]

((Note: Yep, this is as crack as can be))

I have heard say that those who die in this tower are resurrected after a time.

Is there anyone who has either witnessed or experienced this phenomenon firsthand that wishes to speak of it?

[Short, sweet, and written in the true fashion of a grammar nazi to the point. The message is not filtered or locked in any way -- he's pretty obviously looking for a yes or no before anything else.]

[Hello network, you're suddenly privy to two guys messing around and having the most fun ever, ok? Nothing bad is happening yet.]

*The awesome, very gr8 8andit princess came across the vast forest with which she happened upon on her l8test escap8de from those oh-so-dangerous, confounded knights who were annoyed at her antics. She had easily shook them off of her trail when she came upon a dark cave and decided to walk in, her adventurous spirit kicking in. Especially when she had heard rumors of something particularily profit8le...*

[Oh look, it's started!]

TH3 POOR, W34K L1TTL3 PR1NC3SS H4S NO 1D34 WH4T SH3 H4S STUMBL3D UPON, FOR OUT OF TH3 C4V3 LUMB3RS 4 M1GHTY DR4GON, ST1LL SL33PY FROM H3R R3C3NT SLUMB3R. "WHY H4V3 YOU COM3 H3R3?" SH3 RO4RS 1N TH3 4NC13NT, NOBL3 TONGU3 OF H3R R4C3, VO1C3 BOOM1NG.

[Costumes? A definite go here.

And wide grins everywhere with these two.]

*You mean the most kickass, strong princess ever looked up in something that may or may not have 8een shock 8ut she masked it soon well enough with a confident grin.* "I have heard rumours of 'gr8' things, 8ut I didn't think it would include an ancient dragon! 8ut I do have a reason for 8eing here. I'm looking for something grand, 8esides your 8ig face here."

TH3 M4J3ST1C B34ST 3Y3S TH3 PR1NC3SS DOWN 1TS 4M4Z1NG SNOUT W1TH D1SD41N. "YOU W1LL NOT F1ND WH4T YOU S33K! NOW GO!"

*The 8adass 8andit princess huffed, her incredi8le face turning a look that conveys o8vious annoyance.* "How do you know that? If you would just let me look around a 8it I 8et I could find what I need!"

[And that's where the video feed seems to cut off...]

(ooc: let me know if I messed up, i'm like "wut" when it comes to lj stuff nowadays...)

So uh.

[Karkat's face is on the screen, attempting to look pretty unimpressed by...whatever is going on behind him. In fact, he almost seems exasperated. It's all an act though, judging by the way the corner of his mouth twitches. Some of his suit is splashed with teal, though it's too coagulated to be paint.

Then all questions are answered when Karkat tilts the camera just a smidge to the left to show Terezi on one of the infirmary beds, who looks like she's had her arm impaled by something. The wound looks like it may need stitches. He's doing his best to hide the fact that this is a video feed from his counterpart, so after he gives the audience a brief viewing, he focuses the camera back on his face.]

I ain't much of a doctor. Can I get some assistance, maybe?

I think I know whose fault this menu is.