06 February 2012 @ 09:14 am
hI, sO,
i GUESS i AM BACK, aND, nOT REALLY ANYWHERE ELSE AT THE MOMENT,
aND, i AM KIND OF GLAD i AM BACK TOO, iN A WAY,
aLSO, iN CASE IT MIGHT BE HARD TO REMEMBER ME, sINCE, i WAS GONE FOR AWHILE,
i AM tAVROS, aND, i WAS HERE FOR KIND OF A LONG TIME BEFORE, bUT THEN i LEFT, aND, nOW i AM BACK,
aND, i GUESS EVERYTHING REALLY WAS DESTROYED,
aNYWAY,
hELLO, eVERYONE,
wHAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE i LEFT, sINCE, tHAT IS PROBABLY IMPORTANT TO KNOW,
06 February 2012 @ 04:14 pm
OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW HOW THESE GO. IN A STUNNING EXAMPLE OF WHAT SEEMS TO BE A CLEAR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE, I ACTUALLY READ THROUGH THIS INANE PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I STARTED TYPING.
I DON’T NEED YOUR WITTY BANTER AND USELESS INFORMATION SO KNOCK IT OFF IN ADVANCE.
THE REASON WHY I’M BOTHERING WITH THIS FESTERING COLLECTION OF HIGHLY DISTASTEFUL HISTRIONICS AT ALL IS FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY:
I’M GOING TO TEACH ALL YOU BLATHERING NUTJOBS ABOUT THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM`.
THIS IS A HIGHLY CHERISHED SYSTEM AND I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP THIS SECOND, SHUT YOUR PUZZLE TRAP AND FUCK OFF.
BY FUCK OFF I MEAN SIT DOWN AND LISTEN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND HIGHLY RELEVANT WHEN YOU'RE GOING AROUND SNATCHING PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR UNIVERSES WHEN THEY'VE GOT IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.
`DESTROYED` ISN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS TO ENTIRE UNIVERSES, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM` IS A ONE TO TEN SCALE OF HOW OKAY YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION.
THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH INFORMATION ALREADY, BUT I KNOW THAT A VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE HAPLESS, BRAINLESS, FLESHY PINK HUMAN MEATBAGS, SO I’LL ELABORATE.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
THE SCALE IS SIMPLE ENOUGH, WHERE YOU GAUGE HOW `OKAY` YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION USING ONE DIGIT NUMBERS, A CONCEPT THAT EVEN THE MOST INTELLIGENCE-CHALLENGED INDIVIDUAL CAN UNDERSTAND.
ONE IS THE LOWEST END OF THE SCALE, TEN IS THE HIGHEST.
THAT NEEDED CLARIFICATION.
AGAIN, YOU’RE WELCOME.
FOR EXAMPLE, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKSPONGES WILL NEED ONE, I WILL RATE THE SITUATION I’M IN RIGHT NOW USING THE NOT OKAY SCALE.
THAT SITUATION BEING, OF COURSE, THAT I’VE BEEN MERCILESSLY RIPPED OUT OF MY UNIVERSE AND THEREFORE STRIPPED OF MY IMPORTANT LEADER DUTIES.
JUST IN CASE YOU’D FORGOTTEN.
RATING MYSELF ON A ONE TO TEN SCALE, WITH ONE BEING DELIGHTFULLY CONTENT LIKE A BUCKTOOTHED IDIOT DANCING NAKED IN THE RAIN AND TEN BEING PSYCHO JUGGALO ASSHOLE SUDDENLY GETTING A WICKED THIRST FOR THE KILLS
I WOULD BE AROUND A 6.
MIDWAY UP THE SCALE, DECIDEDLY NOT OKAY BUT NOT BEING AN OBNOXIOUS BULGEREEK ABOUT IT.
HAD I NOT HAD THE MENTAL CAPACITY, AS I KNOW MOST OF YOU DON’T, TO FLIP THROUGH THIS BOOK FIRST, I WOULD BE TWELVE OR THIRTEEN ON THE SCALE.
IT’S MY SCALE I CAN GO HIGHER THAN THE LIMIT IF I WANT TO, FUCK OFF.
THIRTEEN WOULD BE PEELING OFF ALL MY SKIN, FILING DOWN MY HORNS AND GOING ON A BLEARY AND CONFUSED MURDER SPREE.
I WAS FEELING MAGNANIMOUS WITH MY BRAIN POWER AND SAVED YOU ALL THE TROUBLE OF DEALING WITH THAT.
THIS MEMO HAS ALMOST REACHED ITS CONCLUSION, BUT BEFORE I LEAVE YOU DUMBFUCKS BACK TO YOUR IGNORANCE BUBBLES, I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CLARIFIED:
THIS IS NOT ME BEING OBNOXIOUS AND TELLING YOU HOW TO ACCURATELY GAUGE YOUR LIFE WITH MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND ENDLESS INTELLECT
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MEMO CONTAINING A PRICELESS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE INANE AND THE IDIOTIC.
(THAT’S YOU.)
06 February 2012 @ 06:38 pm
k so
i was sitting here pondering the meaning of life and what the fuck i wish i had had for breakfast yesterday
(yesterday was long ok a girl has to make a burrito last)
and i was gonna make a public service announcement going "oh hey i got kidnapped whats up with that?"
but then i realized that was kind of boring so i deleted it
like so quick you dont even know broseph i was bookin it
anyway uh guess i should say
asl???
me i am a fine bro
13/f/some creepy place that wrote me a creepy welcome note
the name is jade
if anyones seen a john or a rose or hell, even a creepy prick who has ooglyboogly creepytimes going on
(thats dave btw)
tell me, ok?
i need to talk to them asap it is super mega important
shit is going down and we need to convene like
convening
seagulls
yeah[ ooc: i will be a little slow for awhile, but replies will definitely be forthcoming! ]
06 February 2012 @ 10:39 pm
[Teal text appears on the screen, but it is not accompanied by capital letters or numbers.]I hλve λ problem!
Ψhoever is in chλrge of this tower, I'd lichen it if you could lend λn eλr.
It is λ big problem. I just don't know ΨHλT I'm going to do with this bλd little seed.
You see, this isn't λt λll where I'm supposed to be.
This L-ΣTT-ΣR is λ LI-----Σ! I think it's wreλthsonλble thλt I'm λ little bit UPS---ΣT!
How do I know it is a lie?
Because this isn't what I agreed to.
No, no, not at all.
I was working with plenty of time to spare.
You didn't save me!
Nothing could have saved us.
Except...
Well, you must already know if you've already gone and... interrupted it.
And to be honest, that's making me pretty angry.
Really angry.
I knew exactly what I was doing, and you'd dare to[The text suddenly cuts off as if the writer has tried to gain a grip on their anger. When it returns, the tone is decidedly more cheerful.]I hλve no interest in stλying!
So if λnyone could point their fork towλrds the exit, I'd be releλfed. :)[It then switches to video. A young female troll is shown on the screen. Nothing out of the ordinary for those familiar with her kind.
Except, maybe, for the fact that she looks like she's splattered with a rainbow of paint. Huh. There is a strangely dreamy look on the girl's face, and she gazes at the camera in an unfocused manner, a smear of dark red on her cheek.]I am Feferi, by the way. I almost forgot my shrubbin' manners!
( translation for text )
06 February 2012 @ 11:39 pm
Karkat
Im
Ok I Dont Really Know What To Say So I Think Ill Just
Say It And Risk The Embarrassment
I Really Need To Talk To You Right Now
As Promptly As Possible
Please