I require the assistance of Allen Ridgeley. Please contact me immediately.

[That is all.]

 As most of you are aware, Thanksgiving is coming up. For those that do not know, considering the number of parallel worlds and such, Thanksgiving is a national holiday, and it's purpose is to give thanks to each other for the work that they have done throughout the year, and to celebrate the fruits of that labor, not to be confused with the American version.

[And China didn't exactly celebrate it, but hey, he's been in Japan even longer to know more about their holidays.]

Personally, I don't celebrate it in any country, however, I still feel as if this might be a time to uplift spirits of those that would need it. I am aware that many do not care for the meaning for them, though I am sure opinions would shift with the food offered and could be made. Not only that, but I feel there are others who might benefit from learning how to cook, be it new recipes, or learning from scratch; I will also not be cooking everything by myself.

Is there anyone in this tower who would like to assist me, or take lessons?

First off, let me just tell the wonderful people who brought me to this dump. No, really. Thanks a bunch. God knows there's nothing I'd want less than to be killed in some poorly defined cataclysm that you give just the barest evidence of! Because you know the whole screening room sure couldn't be faked! Still, think you could have found a better place to put the letter you gave me detailing all this, like up your butts.

Secondly, lay it on me. Just how bad is this place. I just got brought here from someplace like this - whole schtick that it was a better place to live than the alternative and I should be grateful and blah blah blah - so I kinda get the idea. I mean I guess I could be wrong and this could turn out to be some fantastic land of lollipops and fairies and lovey magical crap that just happens to have floors full of monsters, but I'm not getting my hopes up. So should I expect to have, like, my head chopped off and sewn onto some kind of guerrilla alien body once every week, or month, or what? What's the schedule for bullcrap around here like? Also don't bother to tell me about how you're working to get free, or how things are bad right now but we'll get over them or any crap like that. You don't win situations like this, you just survive them. So don't waste my time with any hope crap.

Finally, since we got crap from "home" to bring with us, did someone here manage to get a video game system and TV or something? I mean even a Game Boy. It feels like forever since I've even played Tetris or something and as great as pointlessly wandering monster filled floors are - I mean some of them are cool - I can only see the same horrific creature so many times before it gets passe.